Michael Jackson Comes to Quahog
by shadowsliph
Summary: Title says it all, pretty much. Script form. Chapter three is up!
1. Michael on the loose!

Michael Jackson Comes to Quahog

Tom Tucker: Attention, citizens of Quahog! Michael Jackson has just escaped from jail and has come to Quahog! He is known to be very dangerous, so keep your children inside at all times!  
Peter (switching off the TV): Oh my god! This is worse than the time I tried playing Yu-Gi-Oh!

(Peter and Quagmire are playing Duel Monsters. Peter is dressed as Yugi and Quagmire is dressed as Kaiba)

Quagmire: You'll never defeat me, Peter!

Peter: Yes, I will! I summon… the raccoon! (raccoon appears, turns around, and jumps on Peter's face)

Peter: AHHHHHH! Oh my God, oh my God!

(Brian walks into room)

Peter: Brian, Michael Jackson's loose in Quahog! And with Lois visiting her parents, how are the children going to be safe? God knows I can't protect them!

Brian: Peter, why don't you use that Robocop you got a few years back?

Peter: Oh no, not after last time!

(Peter is talking to Robocop)

Peter: Alright, all you have to do is protect us from anything dangerous!

(Quagmire walks in)

Robocop: Attack! Attack! (starts firing guns)

(Quagmire runs away)

Quagmire: Oh God, oh God!

Peter: Well, as long as I've got to protect this family, I might as well get some food.

(Cut to Peter at the supermarket. Brian is with him. He bumps into a mysterious man with a bandanna over his face.

Peter: Hey, sorry about that. Wait a minute, I've never seen you around before.

MM: I'm new, but I don't have a place to stay.

Peter: Well, I guess you can stay with us then!

Brian: Peter, are you sure it's smart to let strangers into your house with Michael Jackson on the loose?

Peter: Of course it is! So, here's our address, and I'll see you later.

MM: Before you go, do you have any children in your house?

Peter: Well, yeah, I have two boys and a girl.

MM: Excellent…

Peter: Come again?

MM: Nothing! See you later!

(back at the house, Peter is showing the man around and introducing him to the kids)

Peter: Okay, Mr…

MM: Jefferson. Yes, that's it, Jefferson!

Peter: Mr. Jefferson, this is Stewie, Chris, and Meg.

MM: Excuse me, I thought you said you only had two boys.

Meg: I'm a girl, you idiot. A GIRL!

MM: Oh, right.

Peter: Well, time for bed.

MM: Do I get to sleep with you?

Peter: Ummm… no, we have a guest bed.

MM: Oh… Okay.

(Peter is tucking Stewie in)

Peter: Good night, Stewie.

(Peter leaves. Stewie is about to go to bed when he sees something popping up from his window. Michael Jackson has the bandanna off.)

Stewie: What the deuce?

MJ: I like babies!

Stewie: Burn in hell, Jackson!

(Stewie takes out a gun and starts shooting at him. Michael Jackson pops down and runs away.)

Stewie: Hmm, it seems that Jackson has come to our house. Looks like I'll have to take necessary precautions…(Stewie presses a button, and turrets pop out.)

(Cut to Chris' room. Chris spots two eyes in his closet.)

MJ: Chris, come here.

Chris: Sorry, my dad told me never to talk to strangers.

(Peter's devil and angel appear on Chris' shoulders)

Devil P: Who cares? Do what you want.

Angel P: Yeah, really.

(They vanish)

Chris: Besides, there's an evil monkey living in there,

(Two more eyes pop up in the closet, and Jackson is heard being mauled. His eyes then vanish.)

(The next day…)

(Peter is about to go to the bathroom when he sees a bandanna and a nose sitting on the table. He then looks into the bathroom to see Michael Jackson shaving.)

Peter: Brian, Mr. Jefferson is actually Michael Jackson!

Brian: No sh, you bd. I've already called the police.

(Michael Jackson walks out with his bandanna and nose on.)

Peter: Get out of my house, you pervert!

(Michael Jackson runs into Stewie's room and locks the door.)

MJ: Hee hee hee, your son is mine, jack!

Peter: Oh no, Stewie!

(In Stewie's room.)

Stewie: Well, well, well, look who dropped by for a visit!

MJ: Where are you?

Stewie: Behind you!

(Michael Jackson turns around to see 50 guns in his face. He jumps out the window and Peter opens the door and sees the guns.)

Peter: I don't even wanna know.

(Michael Jackson walks into Old Man's house.)

Old Man: Jackpot!

The End…

OF PART 1! MWAHAHAHAHA!


	2. The Second Coming

Michael Jackson Comes to Quahog Part 2 

Hi everyone! I'm back with another MJ fic. Just so you know, this one and the last one are both a collaboration between Specialman and me. Some things from "Family Guy meets American Dad" are in this.

(Old Man Herbert is closing in on Michael Jackson.)

Herbert: Christmas came early this year!

MJ: W-wait! That's my job!

Herbert: Not anymore!

MJ: Wait! Wait wait wait! I have a proposition for you!

Herbert: What?

MJ: I know a home with an idiot father and two little boys.

Herbert: Go on.

MJ: You help get in, and we split the boys 50/50.

Herbert: Which house is this?

MJ: The Griffin house.

(Herbert's eyes open wide.)

Herbert: I get the paper boy!

MJ: Deal! And I get the baby.

(Both laugh maniacally.)

(Back at Peter's house)

Peter: I can't believe Michael Jackson was in our home!

Brian: I knew it all along.

Peter: Then why didn't you tell me?

Brian: I did. I even called the police, but you told them to go away because there was no one here except Mr. Jefferson.

Peter: This is even dumber than getting in a fight with Mike Tyson.

(Peter is in the boxing ring with Mike Tyson. Tyson jumps on him and bites his ear off.)

Peter: WHY!

(Back to where we were.)

Peter: Well, I'm not gonna be as clueless as last time! (Takes out a shotgun and starts shooting everything.)

Brian: (sarcastically) Yeah, you're already doing a good job.

(Cut to Chris at school. Herbert and Michael Jackson are watching him.)

MJ: Okay, I'm going to lure him here with this rubber ball.

Herbert: Where'd you get that?

MJ: I usually put them in my victim's mouths.

( Chris walks by and Michael Jackson throws ball into the truck they came in. Chris chases the ball and they close the truck on him.)

MJ: Excellent!

(At Stewie's preschool, Herbert and Michael Jackson are talking.)\

Herbert: How are we gonna get this one?

MJ: With something he can't resist. (Throws plutonium attached to a fishing rod in front of Stewie.)

Stewie: Plutonium! (He chases after it. Michael Jackson grabs him and they drive away in the truck.)

(Back at Peter's house, it is now six o' clock.)

Peter: I'm worried. They should be home by now.

Brian: You don't think Michael Jackson got them, do you?

Peter: Of course not. But we'd better look around just in case.

(Michael Jackson and Herbert are at Herbert's house. Stewie and Chris are tied up.)

MJ: We finally have them!

Chris: Hi, Mr. Jefferson!

Stewie: Great, it looks like I'm going to have to handle this.

(Stewie takes out a walkie-talkie.)

Stewie: Attack.

(The chicken who fights with Peter crashes through the wall and starts beating up Michael Jackson and Herbert

Herbert: No way am I losing my man! (starts fighting with chicken. With the combined power of Herbert and Michael Jackson, the chicken is losing. Peter jumps through the window and also starts attacking the chicken.)

Stewie: Fat man, he's on our side!

Peter: Oh, sorry. (Starts attacking Herbert and Michael Jackson. Peter and the chicken work together and beat Michael Jackson and Herbert. The police show up.)

Policeman: You two are going away for a long time.

MJ: You haven't seen the last of us!

(Peter turns to chicken.)

Peter: Thanks for helping me. But next time we meet, we're enemies.

(Chicken nods and runs away)

So, what did you think? Love it? Hate it? Read and review!


	3. Unexpected alliance

Michael Jackson Comes to Quahog pt. 3

(This is mostly about MJ in jail. Once more, it is a specialman and shadow sliph production. This is the final chapter)

(Michael Jackson is in the jail cell complaining to the guards)

MJ: Oh come on! All I was trying to do was show a young boy the meaning of love! Is that so bad?

(Cop doesn't listen. Suddenly a priest walks in)

Priest: I'd like to bail MJ out please

Cop: What?

Priest: Yes here's the money

(Priest walks over to Michael's jail cell)

MJ: Hey why are you helping me? You a priest

Priest: Well Mr.Jackson we've had our eye on you for a long time and we think you should join our special group

MJ: I don't know

Priest: Why? Do you like it here?

MJ: Well the men are really nice here, Herbert has had a really good time

(Herbert and other guy's in prison are breaking rocks with tools)

Herbert: You might want to stretch out those juicy muscles before you do that

(Back with Jackson)

MJ: Although I do miss the days of playing with children so much.

(MJ is having flashbacks of him and little boys in a field running towards each other with their arms stretched out. It then cut to him luring them into his bedroom. Back with Mj)

MJ: Alright, I'll join. What does this group do?

Priest: You know those priests on TV who get arrested for child molesting?

MJ: Yes.

Priest: They're in the group.

MJ: I don't ge….. Oh I get it. Excellent…

Priest: Shall we go?

MJ: Yes, but I have to do one thing first…

(Meg is taking out the trash. Michael Jackson's head pops out of the trash can.)

MJ: I hate you. (His head pops back down, leaving Meg confused.)

(Back to Michael Jackson)

MJ: One day, I shall return to get that boy… the boy that got away!

(Cut to Stewie and Brian are sitting on the couch. Stewie puts his hand to his forehead.)

Brian: What's wrong?

Stewie: I don't know, but I sense a disturbance in the Force.

Brian: Really?

Stewie: Yeah, like the time Peter figured out he went to the bathroom.

(Peter is sitting at the table with everybody)

Peter: Uh-oh.

(Back to MJ)

(Priest and MJ laugh maniacally and drive away in a car.)

The End

Write in your review if you want a sequel!


End file.
